With Christmas on the approach, and people planning holidays, I thought I’d share some sage advice for travelling. Of course it only applies if your going from Darwin to Adelaide or vice versa, but whatever.
Somewhere along a long stretch of land between Darwin and Adelaide, there is a small town in the middle of a whole bunch of red dust. There doesn’t appear to be anything particularly beautiful or useful about this particular spot, but along that stretch of road, that’s pretty much the norm. The highway is dotted with small towns and roadhouses that make you scratch your head and ask ‘Why?’
Coober Pedy, at least, is different.
Now if I was any kind of expert on South Australian history or could be bothered googling it, I would tell you when and why Coober Pedy became a place. But I’m not, and I can’t so all I’ll tell you is that they mine opals there. Driving 50kms on either side of the town itself, the scenery is dotted with mounds where some have struck it rich, and others have just kept trying.
It’s beautiful and desolate all at once.
Boatman loves Coober Pedy.
We’ve been thinking a bit about it lately. It’s been two years since we drove from the North to Port Lincoln in the South, and we’re desperate for a holiday. This time of year and one starts to think wistfully about four day driving holidays again, just so that we can get away.
We learnt a few things last time we did the trip. Where to go, and where not to.
Tenant Creek is a bleak place to stay, and should be avoided.
Dunmarra has cute cat that will adopt you for the length of your stay.
Daly Waters will have you awake at the crack of dawn with the wild life.
Glendambo is hot and dirty.
Cowell will have you considering a sea change.
Ti-Tree will give you an STD. Or maybe just lyme disease.
And Coober Pedy? Well that is the romance capital of Australia.
Now the good thing about car trips, is that if the kids are well behaved and happy in the back, it gives you and your partner time to reconnect and enjoy one anothers company. A whole day of undivided attention in the car, and then arriving somewhere new to set up camp under the stars, and drink wine by firelight once the children are finally asleep. It’s all very romantic, and inspires a certain type of marital intimacy.
From experience, the intimacy is kept at bay on the first night, cause the kids are all hyped and you’re exhausted.
The second night, you have settled into the trip, but if you’re still in the north its far too hot for any kind of romantic liaison.
The third night will see you lucky to even be in the same camper trailer, on account of picking up a random tick from the roadhouse floor, and finding it dangerously close to your nether region, and then spending the next hour of the drive south, completely terrified that you did just in fact pick up crabs from a bush toilet in the middle of nowhere.
Not that I know anyone that happened to….
The fourth night, after several bathings and applications of hand sanitizer, and a boredom with the trip, you will find yourself in Coober Pedy, with nothing else to do, but to enjoy the physical perks of matrimony.
It’s a fact people. I have tested it.
Now that’s all well and good, on the way down, you say, but what about the return trip? Well here is something I have learned about men and travelling.
If you arrive somewhere where the town has been christened, it must of necessity, be baptised again. Because once you do it the first time you visit, that automatically means you have to do it again, or upset the law of averages which states that every time you go to Coober Pedy you have sex. (I really hope neither of the mothers are reading this.)
Secondly, if you haven’t done the horizontal mambo in a particular location, that does not mean you need to uphold that 100% strike rate. On the contrary, you should feel sorry for the town and do it anyway.
Thirdly, never ever go to the bathroom in Ti-Tree or stop there at all. In fact when you see the town limits, increase your speed and get out of there as fast as you can. It is for your own good.
Fourthly, if the trip is getting long and boring, and it’s been a few days between a little bit of Nookie, go to Coober Pedy. It’s the romance capital of the world. Trust me.
And finally, if you happen to go to Coober Pedy and you see us there, I suggest you find a new caravan park. We have a rule to uphold.
What are your travelling tips?
Anywhere spark a particular romantic interest for you?
Have you Ever been to Coober Pedy?
Make sure you come back tomorrow for the start of my pre-christmas giveaways!